


What is Lost and Gained

by Veirtyel



Series: Nile's hair plus some team bonding [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Friendship, Is that what angst is? I think so idk I'm new at this, My First Work in This Fandom, Nile just needs a hug, and Joe would be a great hugger don't @ me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veirtyel/pseuds/Veirtyel
Summary: When Nile first joined this rag-tag group immortals, there were bigger things on her mind than her hair. After Merrick, Booker, and what had been the wildest 2 months of her life, she decided to finally do something about it.If only it were that easy.AKA Nile really needs a hug and some help with her hair, and Joe's right there.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani
Series: Nile's hair plus some team bonding [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862116
Comments: 38
Kudos: 930





	What is Lost and Gained

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first work in the fandom as well as my first time posting anything on AO3 so...Enjoy :)  
> So real quick, something I loved about the Old Guard is that Nile's hair is in cornrows throughout the entire film, and in the end it's just a different style of braid. It's never relaxed or straightened, which is rare from an action film where usually, if there even is a black female character, her hair is relaxed. I just appreciated that they kept her hair that way throughout the movie and wanted to write something about her and her hair plus some team bonding.  
> I am not black and am not going to pretend I understand what it is like to have black hair. Everything in this fic is based off research I did online and what my friends have told me IRL. If there is anything wildly off PLZ LET ME KNOW. I don't want to be disrespectful!

Back when Nile first joined the Marines, they recommended she relaxed her hair before entering basic. Nile would have laughed in their faces if she didn’t have the common sense not to. She left the recruiting station with a “Thank you, I’ll think about it,” knowing full well that relaxing her hair was the last thing she would do. Nile has never relaxed her hair in her life. She had wanted to, back when she was in middle school and all her white friends had beautiful straight hair, but her mom forbade it. Thinking back, 13-year-old Nile may have resented her mom for it, but as she grew up she learned to be thankful for her mom's decision. Nile was taught by her mom and dad growing up to love her natural hair and the beautiful braids her mom would spend hours perfecting. It was a part of who she was, so she loved her hair.

Then she decided to join the corps and their regulations on female hair were less than flexible.

“I better be able to see your ears!”

“The color of the hair band must be the same as your hair, ladies!”

“Private Jones! That better be a straight line on the top of your head I see! NO ZIG ZAGS PRIVATE!”

And the punishment for not meeting those regulations were not very fun either.

Nile was just relieved that they had begun allowing small braids by the time she joined up. Throughout her (short lived) military career she only wore her hair in cornrows down to the nape of her neck where she would tie the access in a bun. It worked out for basic, and during her first deployment in Afghanistan. She didn’t know any other type of style for years, never changing it, only redoing her braids when it needed a deep wash. 

That is until she found out she was an immortal who couldn’t die.

She hadn’t thought about it until after the whole situation with Merrick. Nile had been a little preoccupied with the whole “discovering your an unkillable being and defeating a jack-ass pharma CEO” thing that had been the next insane couple days of her life. It was only after they reached the closest safe house that seemed far enough away from London when she realized. She looked in the mirror at her bloody body and for some reason instead of going to the bullet holes littering her shirt, her mind went to her hair. She realized that for the first time in years, she could do whatever she wanted with it, and no one could tell her otherwise.

But at the moment, she couldn't think about it just yet. There were more important matters currently at hand involving Booker that she needed to focus on. The next chance she got she quickly took out her cornrows, washed her bloody hair, and went with two simple braids that wouldn't take that long. She thought she might try something a little more extravagant later when she had the time and energy. Right now, all she wanted to do was sleep.

It was a couple of months after leaving Booker at the bar when she decided to try something more interesting. She had started with the two braids after Merrick, and after a while she had to settle with a simple bun on the top of her head. Was it perfect? No. Was it nicely done? With what Nile had at her disposal, she would say yeah. It kept her hair out of her way when Andy, Nicky, and Joe trained her in the assortment of fighting styles and weaponry they’ve all picked over the centuries. It all worked out fine, but Nile woke up one morning and took a look at her hair in the mirror and decided she needed to do something different.

Surprisingly, She had been the first one to wake up that day. Usually, it was Nicky, either making breakfast or reading something at the table while Joe would be the one cooking. Andy was rarely up first. Nile noticed Andy liked her sleep. Waking her up was never a good idea, which Nile had learned the hard way. 

Currently they were at a safe house in Canada that Andy owned. Well, safe house didn’t feel like the right word to describe it, it was more like an old cabin you'd find in a horror movie where all the main characters died by the dude in a hockey mask trying to kill them. Nile voiced that opinion when they first arrived, which earned her an eye roll with a hint of a smile from Andy, and a reassurance from Nicky that there were no mass murders ever committed here.

Surrounded by woods, the cabin was pretty secluded and allowed for privacy from people. There was a small town down the road with shops that Nile prayed to God had the hair products she needed. Once she made the short trek down to the main part of town, she was pleasantly surprised. She found a store that seemed to have been built just for her. She bought what she needed, struggling only a little with the Canadian currency, but otherwise, the purchase went smoothly. With a bag full of hair products in her hand, she made her way back to the cabin. 

Stepping in she saw that Nicky finally was up, cooking something that smelled delicious. Given the fact that Joe wasn’t with him, Nile guessed he was probably still asleep. He’d be up soon. He was never far behind Nicky.

“Good Morning” Nicky said, without looking up from what he was cooking. “Sleep well?”

“Yup,” Nile replied, but didn’t stop for small talk. What she was about to do would take her a couple of hours at least, and she wanted to be done before lunch. Nicky must have heard the rush in her voice and her pace. He whipped his head towards her right before she rounded the corner to her room. 

“What’s in there?” Nicky had gestured with his spatula to the bag Nile was currently holding. Nile decided to be cheeky this morning.

“It’s a surprise,” she said with a grin. Nicky raised his eyebrows, but his smile told her he was amused. 

“I’m looking forward to it then,” was all Nicky had to say before Nile made her way towards her room. 

The room was small and empty. It had been Bookers before, so Nile had found some semblance of him in the old room. An empty bottle of what looked like whiskey had been sitting on the desk, and under the pillow was a gun that looked like it had been manufactured during the ’50s. It made Nile think how long it had been since they had all stayed here and judging by the dust that had settled on the whiskey bottle, it had been a while. 

Lucky for Nile, the old desk in the room had a mirror propped up against the wall. Perfect, she hated standing when she had her hair braided. She sat down on the equally old chair that made a terrible scraping noise when she sat, and began taking out all her purchases from the store. She pulled out the pick, the brush, the synthetic hair, the gel, and the scissors that for some reason a house full of immortals had lacked. Seriously, they have every type of gun that had ever existed at their disposal, but no scissors?

Nile took her hair out of the bun it had been living in for about a week or two. It stuck everywhere, but Nile had dealt with worse. She brushed through it as best she could and started the grueling process of separating her hair using the back of the pick to create the boxes, braiding her hair, and adding in the synthetic hair, and using the scissors to clean up the braid. By the time she was done with the first braid her arm was already aching. It’s been too long since she’s done this.

Other than the arm ache, it was going very smoothly, and if she was being honest with herself, it looked pretty damn good. The gel helped make the braids hold better, and although the brand wasn’t what she would usually use, it was better than nothing. She’s honestly surprised she found everything she needed in the middle of a small town in rural, butt-fuck nowhere Canada. 

The braids didn’t go that far, only slightly past her armpits, and she had bought scrunchies as well since she was fully expecting to train and go on missions. She didn’t want her braids slapping her or the others in the face. That had happened once back when she played soccer in middle school when her braids came out of the weak hair band she borrowed from a friend. Ask her brother and he will tell you it was “strategic playing”. 

All in all, it was going pretty well.

Until it wasn’t.

Nile couldn't reach the back of her head. She couldn't see and her arms started aching from all the braiding. And suddenly like that, Nile remembered she couldn’t braid the back of her head. Nile was reminded that it was always someone else doing it for her.

In basic, Nile almost never did her own hair. She’d do the ones on the side of her head, but she could never reach the back. She had a buddy named Michael who was her designated hairstylist. He had three little sisters whose hair he braided all the time growing up, so Nile had roped him into braiding her’s.

Then when she was deployed it was Dizzy. She had taught Dizzy how to, and for their tours together her best friend had taken care of her hair when she couldn’t. Dizzy. She missed Dizzy.

When Nile was a little girl it was her dad braiding her hair. He’d sing as he braided, putting in the pink beads and doing funny faces that made little Nile giggle. It was her earliest memory of her father. 

When Nile got older and started experimenting more with her hair, it was her mom who was always the one doing her cornrows, box braids, and locs. She’d sit her down and these moments are when they’d have those conversations Nile would always remember and treasure. It was about the boy who asked her out on a date back in sophomore year, or about how Nile’s brother had been getting on both their last nerves when he was going through puberty. They talked about school and future plans for Nile, how her mom's work was going, and about how they missed her dad. And every time, without fail, when Nile’s mom was done she would take her daughter by the shoulders and smush her cheek against hers and say “My baby is so beautiful”

Nile was so caught up in the memories she hadn’t realized the tears that began running down her face. She didn’t have a mom to braid her hair anymore, she hadn’t had a dad to in years. She didn’t even have a Michael or a Dizzy. 

Nile put the hair in her hand down on the desk and wiped at her eyes. She leaned forward with her elbows on the desk, head in hands as she tried to quiet down her erratic breathing from crying. She hadn’t cried in front of the others yet, and she hoped she wouldn't have to for at least another 20 years. 

She didn’t know how long she had cried for, but once she stopped hiccuping and her breathing settled, she finally looked at herself. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were a little wet. Maybe if someone walked in she could pretend it was allergies. Did immortals even have allergies?

As if on cue there was a knock on the door.

“Um...It’s open,” Nile said while quickly drying her cheeks with sleeves of her hoodie. She looked at her eyes and noticed the red was already gone. Another box to check off of the “just immortal things” list.

The door opened and in stepped Joe. He stopped when he saw Nile, looking a bit confused, and then she remembered she only had the front half of her hair done. It must have been a sight.

“Um, how long have you been at that? You missed breakfast, and Nicky makes a damn good omelet. He’ll be sad you missed it.”

Joe was trying to be lighthearted but Nile couldn’t smile right now. The best she could muster was a small grin that probably wasn’t very convincing because Joe’s body language changed from joking to concerned. 

“You okay?” he asked, still in the doorway, but he’d moved from leaning on it to standing upright. 

Nile considered her response for a moment. She could lie and say “I’m great! How are you?”, or she could tell the truth and probably have a talk she is likely in desperate need of. She didn’t like lying. She never has, but especially to Joe. He’s been so nice to her since she first joined them and discovered she was an immortal. He’s also the one who will poke fun at Andy with Nile and is usually the one translating whenever they all go off in a language Nile has yet to learn. She could say she's fine and although Joe would see through the lie, he wouldn't push her, but he’d still know.

“Not really,” Nile admitted, and Joe must have taken that as an invitation because he walked in and shut the door behind him. Nile was grateful for that. She didn’t exactly want her feelings to be open to the world right now. Well, the world being the other two immortals in the cabin.

Joe walked over and leaned on the wall next to the desk Nile was sitting at. He crossed his arms and looked down at her. She realized he was waiting for her to start talking. She sighed.

“It’s harder than I thought,” she began, looking at herself in the mirror rather than Joe. “I knew it would be but…” she paused, unsure because even she didn’t think even she knew how hard it would be. “But I can’t even braid my damn hair without thinking about it. About them.”

Joe looked down at his feet, then at Nile again. He didn't say anything. Nile thought he knew she needed to talk about this out loud. He was here to listen, he was good at that.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this exactly. I mean, I know how, but Jesus Christ, it’s hard.” Nile stopped there, feeling her voice starting waver again. She didn't think she could continue with tears threatening to spill out.

“It is,” Joe began. Nile looked up at him. “I’m not going to sugar coat it, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Hell, we all did it, even Andy.”

Nile thought back to that conversation she had all those months ago. Andy mentioned her mother and sisters. It was hard to imagine that Andy was once as new as she was, and Andy was all alone then. At least Nile had people.

“But it does get easier. I promise you, Nile, it will get easier. I know what Booker said about Nicky and I always having each other, but we left behind family too. We left behind our countries and homes.”

Nile thought about it and realized she had had that nagging thought. The thought that Joe and Nicky were always so lucky. It didn’t make Nile resentful, but jealous, and a little like it was unfair, as much as she hated to admit it.

But even they had left behind people too. In passing, Nicky had mentioned his sister once, a little girl the last time he saw her but by the way he talked about her she could tell he deeply loved her.

Joe had talked highly of his mother, a kind woman whose face he didn’t completely remember, but who’s singing voice is what helped him fall asleep at night as a child. They had all loved and lost, and yet here they are. Booker could be the outlier, but by the way Nile knew he was hurting because of what he did, it was obvious he still had something to lose. Something he still loved.

“Besides,” Joe started again. “I’d like to think you gained something too. We all find each other for a reason, after all.” Joe’s eyed had softened the way they usually do when they’re looking at Nicky. Nile feels almost honored to be at the receiving end of them.

Nile then chuckled a bit. “You sound like Nicky.”

And at that Joe tilted his head up, laughing at Nile’s rib at him.

“Yeah well, he rubs off on you. Just you wait.”

Nile was smiling now, enjoying teasing Joe. She’d only known him for 2 months, but she did feel like she gained something in him, Nicky, Andy, and even Booker. At least she had them. At least she wouldn't ever be alone through all this.

“And by the way” Joe started. “Do you need help?”

Nile looked at him confused for a second, then remembered why she was in this predicament in the first place. 

“Oh, yeah but I don’t know. Can you braid black hair? Can you braid hair period?”

“Ha, you’ll be surprised by the types of skills I’ve acquired over the years. Of course, I know how to braid hair.”

Nile raised her eyebrows, almost surprised. She didn’t expect any of them to know how. She figured immortals had better things to do than braid hair. Plus, none of them had enough hair to braid in the first place.

Her shock must have been obvious because Joe just laughed and offered an explanation. 

“Back then when it was just Nicky, Andy, Quynh and I, Quynh always wanted to braid her hair after meeting Vikings for the first time. She could never do her own and Andy never could develop the skill for some reason, so as soon as Quynh found us she pretty much begged me to learn.”

Joe was smiling as he spoke of Quynh. It was nice, seeing one of them talk about their lost friend without the pain in their voice or the sadness in their eyes. It does get easier then.

“She told me it helped her hair stay in better and out of her face during a battle, but I think she just liked having her hair braided. Even Andy saw the pluses to having your hair out of your way and let me braid it, and Nicky-”

“Hold on. Nicky had long hair?” Nile questioned. That was something she almost couldn’t believe. 

“And a beard.”

“That I need to see.”

“I might have a few sketches laying around.”

Nile smiled with her teeth this time, definitely looking forward to seeing long-haired Nicky.

“But even Nicky,” Joe continued. “Even Nicky would let me braid his hair. It wasn't as long as Andy or Quynh’s, but he still let me. I honestly think he didn’t care about the actual braid at all.”

He didn't say anything beyond that but Nile could fill in between the lines.

“So you can imagine my disappointment when Nicky and Andy both decided to cut their hair, but now.” Joe moved to stand right behind Nile. “Allah has blessed me with more beautiful hair to braid.”

Nile had to hold back a tear that threatened to spill out for maybe the third time that day. If Joe noticed he didn't say anything, and Nile is reminded yet again why she is grateful for him. Joe looked at her through the mirror.

“Now, I can braid, but I’ll admit, and never done...what’s it called?”

“Box braids”

“Box braids, and I’ve also never braided hair like yours before, so walk me through it real quick.”

So Nile did. It was a fun change of pace, having Nile teach the almost 1000-year-old immortal something. In all honesty, she didn’t even need to do that much teaching. He got a handle on it pretty quickly as he separated Nile's hair, put gel in, and added braids in one after the other. It came almost naturally to him, and Nile was amused seeing Joe so concentrated on her hair. By the time he was done, you couldn’t even tell it was his first time. She looked at her newly braided head in the mirror, felt the back, and let the braid run through her fingers. It felt amazing finally being able to do something fun with her hair, and Nile could see Joe was proud of his handy work. She looked at him and did something she didn’t expect. She hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. She was practically on her toes.

“Thank you, Joe,” she said. They both knew it wasn’t just the braids she was thanking him for. He didn’t say anything back, but the way his arms tightened slightly around her waist told Nile all she needed to know.

“Come on,” he said as they pulled apart. “Let's show the others, I know Nicky was wondering about some sort of surprise.”

As they walked out to where Andy and Nicky were waiting, Nile thought about what she had. Nile didn’t have a mom or dad anymore. She didn’t have a Michael, and she didn’t have a Dizzy.

Nile did have a Joe.


End file.
